S u b j e c t i v i t y
Definition
Subjectivity refers to how someone’s judgment is shaped by personal opinions and feelings instead of outside influences.
Subjectivity is partially responsible for why one person loves an abstract painting while another person hates it.
Subjectivity is contrasted to the philosophy of objectivity, which is described as a view of truth or reality that is free of any individual’s biases, interpretations, feelings, and imaginings.
Subjective thoughts are influenced by or based on personal beliefs or feelings rather than based on facts.
Our Default Settings
We all have a natural process that puts a heavier weight on negative to positive comments in a ratio of about 4 to 1. Which means that it takes 4 positive comments to balance a negative piece of information. And we are more apt to identify and focus in on the negative information in our environments.
Highly subjective people filter out a majority of positive comments and primarily focus on the perceived negative information. You get two subjective people talking to each other and all they can focus on are the negative comments despite any or all of the positive information present.
WE FILTER OUR THOUGHTS THROUGH…
Bias
Emotions
Imagination
Types of Bias
Anchoring Bias – Letting numbers influence and direct our thoughts
Framing Bias – Letting the way a situation is presented affect our decisions
Availability Heuristic Bias – Letting easily imagined and/ or recent events outweigh past events
Confirmation Bias – Letting initial decisions become self-fulfilling prophecies
Commitment Escalation Bias – Not accepting sunk costs
Hindsight Bias – Once we know something, we can’t remember when we didn’t know it
Emotional Regualtion
Anger, frustration, or even ill-timed laughter can wreck a relationship when we fail to regulate our feelings. Learning to control and appropriately use our emotions will help to ensure that others perceive us in the best light possible.
How to regulate feelings and emotions:
Identify and avoid emotional triggers
Optimize diet, exercise and rest
Shift your focus from negative aspects and attributes to positive ones
Acknowledge and address your feelings before they escalate
Change your response from negative behavior to positive
Imagination Frustration
Assuming the worst and/or creating traumatic scenarios in our minds that we ruminate on can have poisonous effects on our relationships and our own health. We can literally think ourselves into a state stress and anxiety.
Get a hold of that imagination checklist:
Don’t assume… ever… period
Breathe and take a few seconds to notice what is happening around you
Tell yourself “It’s not happening right now” instead of thinking about some bad event that could happen
Remind yourself “Whatever happens, I can cope”
Ask yourself “I am causing my own suffering, could I stop?”
New Rule: No emotional response without confirming the facts first!
Homework
